Dear Gemstones,
Thank you in advance for listening. I feel like I can't turn to my friends right now because they will judge me instead of helping me. I have been dating this guy (Rick) for about 7 years now. We have had some issues on and of but we always seem to find our way back together. This past Valentine's Day he promised to take me out to dinner - due to our work schedules we don't get a lot of date nites. Anyway, I was very excited. I bought a new dress, got my hair done, and had a few girlfriends over to help me get pretty. Long story short - he never showed and never called. I was utterly embarrassed. The next day his excuse was that he was doing something for his mom and couldn't get away and his phone died. I know he does a lot for his mom but I am really at my wits end with dealing with his crap.
Please help!
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Um ... is it time to let him go? Yes! Yes! Yes! I’m humiliated for you and pissed off like he did it to me. He stood you up and didn’t have the decency to call to cancel? Why would you even want to waste time with someone who lacks basic courtesy and respect? He was not with his mother. He was with his main woman. His only acceptable excuse for leaving you hanging would have been if his mother or other family member was dead or dying that night. But there was no emergency. All men (and their mothers) know that Valentine’s Day is a big deal to most women. He spent it with the person who matters most to him romantically. And all that should matter to you is that he didn’t spend it with you, which should be motivation enough for you to move all the way on.
ReplyDeleteI’m assuming this isn’t his first offense. The red flag that sticks out to me is that after 7 years, you two are still “dating.” I’m not one to put timetables on relationships, but you should at least be “together” after 7 years. You are clearly not a priority to him, even after all this time. Please don’t let him string you along for another 7 minutes, let alone 7 years. If you do give him another chance, you’re just giving him the OK to keep standing you up without any acceptable explanations and continue disrespecting you in other ways. You have to love and respect yourself enough to put your foot down. If you don’t respect you, why should anyone else?
7 yrs that you can't get back. When you start to question what you want in life think about the time that you can't get back. Is the way that you are being treated today the way that you want to be treated for the rest of your life? Is it the way you would want your daughter to be treated? I believe you know the answer.
ReplyDeleteNever stop looking for the perfect match. I could say that a wise animal never leaves branches if he does not have another one to hold on while sitting on a tree..but having on and off relationship won't let you date someone else. It was valentines, it was important for you but for him more important was something else. Did he ever propose to you? Are you living together? Are you talking kids? You still have time to find someone you will be capable to rely on (sorry for my english - it is not my native language ;)). Recently my 32 yo. friend got divorced and started living again. She changed her job, her attitude and now changing life. Go on the dating market girl and start dating again. Don't be afraid to be on your own. You have friends. Ask yourself: 1) why you do not live together if you date for 7 years?! 7 years... YEARS. and no ring on your finger, no family planning.. it is like you were single all of this time. 2) Do you trust him enough that he will show up next time he promised to take you somewhere 3) Does he treats you as a potential wife to be or as a friend with benefits.
ReplyDeleteNow how I see it - he will have kids (already one on his way), he did cheated on you, he does not see you as his one and only. You - you are missing your chance for a family, for happines, for a decent guy.
eem, do you feel good about yourself or not?
What stops you from making hard decision? Do you have a low self esteem? (Recently I stopped beeing 29 and entered my 30's. I put on weight and do not recognize the girl I used to be. I also loss a lot of hair due to stress at work and some problems. Now I know I lost something - a sparkle I used to have. I miss it! So dear blogger, don't loose your sparkle. Believe in yourself, treat yourself as you deserve to be happy.
-Magsxl