Love Life vs. Work Life

"Every relationship has its ups and downs."

Cliche.

But I don't think I've ever known anything so trite to ring more true than in this moment of my life. 
I've been in a relationship for going on two years now. He's my heart, for sure. Long before we became lovers, we were friends and he's had my back through some seriously trying times. It's impossible for me to imagine life without him in my corner. That's why this place we're in right now in our relationship is so frustrating. I don't want to say I'm at a crossroads, but it's definitely a "down" phase.

Here's the deal. About six months ago, Mr. Man took a demanding, high-stress job. It requires that he work a regular schedule, plus be on call 24/7. He literally lives — yes, I'm talkin' house on the premises — at his job. That means most of the time we spend together consists of stolen moments we hope won't be interrupted by a phone call that pulls him away. Before taking this job, I should add, he was a freelancing "creative," making his own schedule and setting aside plenty of time for us. I loved it. Now, all of our plans are penciled in, subject to change or be canceled altogether. If I should say so myself, I've adjusted well to the shift. If he has to leave in the middle of dinner, I roll with it. Rain checks for planned date nights? I take them in stride and wait patiently to cash them in. I'm easy-breezy and far from the needy girl I used to be, so I can live without us being stuck under each other all the time. Plus, he still calls multiple times a day and every night to "tuck me in," if we aren't together.

The problem lately — actually, the first real problem we've had since we've been together — has been his unavailability during a couple times I've really needed him, like the car-related semi-emergency I had the other day. Now, I wasn't hurt or stranded on the side of the road, but I needed him nonetheless and he promised to help me handle the situation. The time came and he wasn't there. Why? Because his job called, of course. Seemed to me a fine time for him to delegate the job need to someone else, drop everything and come help his lady, but no. He's so afraid to make a misstep at work — since he hasn't been there a whole year yet —that he feels he has to do everything himself, rather than trusting his staff to handle some tasks. It irks me, and I'm gradually running out of patience. Canceling dinner plans is one thing, missing in action when I really need him is just frustrating and it's putting a strain on our relationship. Sure, I can tell he gets genuinely disappointed in himself when he knows he's disappointed me. And he bends over backward to fix it, apologize and make me happy after the fact. Try as he might to make things up to me, though, the fact remains that I needed him and he wasn't there. And the key is to get it right the first time so you don't have to pull out all the "I'm sorry" tricks to make up for it later.

I don't expect to be put before his job at all times; we're not married, have no children. And if he loses said job there ain't a bill I can pay for him. I just want him to find a balance and soon. A large part of romantic relationships — any relationship really — is knowing that you can count on the other person, and I feel like we're losing our footing a little on that. I've expressed this to him and he seems receptive and understanding of the importance, so hopefully we'll find it soon.