Using My Faith

I have been leaning on my faith in God and working on not putting limits on my dreams for the last couple months. I read something a few months ago that said to dream big and let God lead you to fulfilling them. I noticed that I desired big things but "downsized" my desires because I was worried I would not be able to get them. I decided to no longer limit them and to tell God what I truly want.

I have been focusing on my goals and working on accomplishing them. Praying for God's guidance in fulfilling them and patience on accepting his timing.  When I feel overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, worried or sad I try to pray. Focus on leaning on God and keeping my faith strong. Which is hard at times because I tend to worry. I keep reminding myself "Do not pray if you're going to worry!"

Another thing I remind myself of is "Faith without works is dead!" I have been trying to make sure I put work behind my faith. Recently I was blessed with 2 of my goals. I was so grateful and overwhelmed with happiness, appreciation, and pure joy. These two goals are steps in accomplishing bigger goals I have. I feel like God was saying "I got you!" "I know your needs and wants. I will provide you if you keep up the good work!"

Are you putting your faith and trust in the Lord? Some people seem to trust God with their eternal salvation, but they have trouble trusting Him for their every-day life. Take comfort from these words of scripture. You can trust God with your needs today.

Expectations

                    "Expectation is the root of all heartache."

                                                    - William Shakespeare

I came across this quote on Pinterest and it quickly provided me with an a-ha moment. Wow. How true. I constantly struggle to manage my expectations. While I want to be hopeful, I don’t want to be disappointed as I have so many times before. Where do you find the balance? How do you find your balance?

It Breaks My Heart

Children are the most Innocent victims in this world. They should never have to feel this type of pain.

A letter 6-year-old Jack Pinto's best friend wrote him
Credit:  @Yamiche - Yamiche Alcindor

 

At 30 years old I can't imagine how it would feel to lose my best friend. Dealing with that issue at 6 or 7 years old is something that I can just not fathom.

Sandy Hook & Newtown, 

our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Where Are We Safe?

I have found myself asking this several times this year. Most recently I asked where is my child safe? The list of places where random crimes or should I say mass shootings grows. This year alone I have "learned" we are not safe at the movies, church, mall, school, and as of today even at the hospital (smaller shooting but still saddening).

As a parent, yesterday's events hit home for me. Not only because I put my child on the school bus every morning without questioning their return in the afternoon. Or because I was going to have another conversation with my child about senseless violence happening in our country. But because I fully realized that the world I grew up in, no longer existed.

This is a completely different place. A different time. With different people. Simple things I did as a child, my child is not allowed to do. Not because of maturity or lack of trust, but because of safety. I remember riding my bike neighborhoods away, going to "the corner store", and staying home while my mother ran errands. Things that I do not feel comfortable allowing my child to do. Not only alone, but in a group of kids. Between pedophiles, rapist, thieves, and so much more... I do not want my child out of my sight! I know this is not realistic, but in this day and age I am forced to be a protective parent.

My child is not allowed the same freedoms, much less childhood I was. I think this is completely unfair! And I hate it! I really do! I hate that I am raising a kid in this world. I hate that she does not know the carefree feeling. I remember being in high school when the Columbine shooting happened. I remember the feeling of fear and confusion. I realize that for years my child has witnessed things in this nation that does the same. It makes me sad and upset. I do the best I can to allow my child to enjoy childhood. I admit I push safety and awareness, but I also allow my child to be just that a child. Strange balance, but a required one.

Say "I'm Sorry"

I'm sorry...I apologize...My mistake...

Two word statements that are extremely hard for so many to say. Why is it that sometimes our pride is so strong that we find it difficult to apologize when we are truly in the wrong? Sometimes you don't even have to be in the wrong to apologize, you could say I'm sorry for the way that you responded when someone wrongs you.

Admitting to a wrong really does take a strong person and I feel that it makes one even stronger when that apology tears downs walls and weakens the other person's anger. Apologizing is one of those few races where it seems no one wants to be first. As for me, I like to live a happy life. I apologize and forgive because it makes my heart happy.

Are your relationships more important than your ego? 

Do you owe someone an apology for something that happened between you two? 

What are you waiting for? Be a better person and start today.

If you need some motivation to take that first step to saying I'm sorry, think about in the extreme. How would you feel if that person's life was taken away at this very moment? Would your ego still matter as much?

Dear Gemstones: Newly Single

Dear Gemstones,

I recently got divorced and have two kids. I was with my ex for about 8 years. I would like to get back in the dating world. I am not looking for a rebound relationship or necessarily a long term relationship. I want to date and have fun. Here is the problem. I don't know how to do it. And I am unemployed and have been for about 2 years. In addition to that I suffered from depression as a result postpartum and abuse from my ex-husband. I am a lot better and being treated, but worry that these things will be an issue in dating. Do I tell a man these things? I want to know how I should go about dating or even just having fun. I am also concerned about dating since I have kids.

Sincerely,

Newly Single

Say What?!: Bad Sex Leads to Bad Beatdown

Girlfriend 'beat up her boyfriend after bad sex left her unsatisfied’

A 24-year-old woman was arrested yesterday for attacking her boyfriend after he climaxed and she did not, a police report alleges.

Raquel Gonzalez lives in Bradenton, Florida with her boyfriend, Esric Davis, 30. Apparently, the two were engaged in intercourse.

When he finished and she did not, Gonzalez allegedly started punching and scratching him around the nose and eyes.

The Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report, obtained by the Smoking Gun, details the alleged attack at the couple’s shared residence on a quiet Florida cul-de-sac.

The violent post-coital attack allegedly occurred after Davis reached orgasm, but Gonzalez did not.
Apparently outraged, she then ‘began hitting and scratching (Davis), causing scratches near his eyes and nose,’ the police report read.

She was arrested yesterday afternoon and charged with felony domestic battery, and remains in the Manatee County jail.

Her bail has not yet been set.

Post-coital attack: Gonzalez lives in this Bradenton, Florida home with her 30-year-old boyfriend, Esric Davis

The angry lover told officers at the scene that Davis was not the only one with scratches, telling them that Davis had nicked her in a desperate attempt to restrain her.

She refused to say anything further after she was read her Miranda rights, the police report said, describing her as ‘belligerent and uncooperative.’

The police report said that alcohol could have been a factor in the alleged attack.

Source:  Girlfriend Raquel Gonzalez ‘beat up her boyfriend after bad sex left her unsatisfied’

Alright Crystals, SOUND OFF! Comment below!

I'm Angry....

...nobody better get in my way.

I'm 30 and trying to live saved.
I'm 30 and trying to start a family.
I'm 30 and trying to find a career I can be proud of having
I'm 30 and not where I thought I would be....

Together, all those things are making me an angry person.

I love God, I really do but it seems like I am the only one in my age group that doesn't want to live for the things of this world. This makes for some very lonely days and nights and situations where I find myself backsliding badly. I have my husband but what about girlfriend time. I don't need to curse to have a conversations, I don't want to attend secular concerts and events, and I like to do things that uplift people. Good clean fun.

When I was younger the only things I really wanted in life was to be a wife and mom. I'm a wife but due to infertility issues outside of my control my blessing of being a mother is delayed (I'm praying that it's not denied). It seems that everyday someone new in my life is pregnant - talk about a slap in the face. I try to be truly happy for them but I'm angry - angry at myself. Then listening to parents complain about their children drives me insane - people do not appreciate what they have until it is taken from them. I have to bite my tongue and walk away from those conversations.

For 6+ years I have been stuck in this glass ceiling job. There is nowhere to go and the worst part is that I don't even want to be in this field. I took the job out of desperation and fear of not being able to pay my bills. Now I feel stuck. I am trying to get back into the field in which I went to school for but in this economy jobs are hard to obtain. I thought about doing my own thing but I am clueless about what I can do well enough to get paid for doing. I feel lost.

All of this contributes to me not being where I thought I would be in life at age 30. That alone is enough to make me want to punch a wall. Still, I try to focus on my blessings that the things that are going well in my life. It's hard but it is something that I must do in order to maintain my sanity. At the end of the day I still find myself angry. Things need to change soon - I must get to work. Please pray for me.

Love Always, Your Untitled Love

Years ago at an office party, my then-supervisor came in with a man I assumed was her significant other. But when she introduced him as “my friend Matt,” I figured I’d assumed wrong. Mere days after that office party, my 40-something supervisor came to work sporting an engagement ring from Matt. That sequence of events had me all confused: Why had she introduced him as her “friend” when he was clearly something more? I decided then that I was not a fan of anyone labeling a significant other "friend." 

At the time, I was young and in love, and anyone who knew me knew that “Danny” was my boyfriend — not my friend, not some title-less guy who accompanied me places. He was my boyfriend, unmistakably.

Fast forward a decade. Danny’s a thing of the past and I'm head of heels in love with "Rico," my heart of a little over a year. We're not engaged, married or even co-habitating, but by all accounts we're in a relationship. The passion is there, the love is there, the friendship is there, the exclusivity is there, the long-term potential is there. There's only one problem: I cannot bring myself to refer to him as my boyfriend. And "friend," as my former supervisor used for her man, is definitely not a solution to my problem.

When I introduce him to friends and family, he's Rico; he's not "my boyfriend Rico" or any other *insert label* Rico. He's just Rico. The crazy thing is, I'd never had a problem with the word "boyfriend" before now. I don't know if it's our ages — I'm 30 and he's pushing 40 — that make the terms "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" seem odd, or if it's my reluctance to put what he and I share into a neatly labeled box. Or could it be the tiny voice in the back of my 30-year-old mind that begs the question: What title really matters besides "fiance/fiancee" or "husband/wife"? Sure, I like the parameters of our relationship to be clearly defined between us. When people ask if I have a boyfriend, I say yes and we conduct ourselves accordingly. But then again, does it really matter what people know? I love the private pet names we have for each other and the small public displays of affection. I just don't know how I'd feel if he were to ever say "girlfriend."

What do you think, Gems? What could be a reason for my sudden disdain for "boyfriend/girlfriend"? Do you have a similar issue with those titles?

*Diamond*

Dear Gemstones: Sexually Unsatisfied

Dear Gemstones,

My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. Until a year ago our sex life was hot and heavy. We always were creative in the bedroom and both were very satisfied with the sex life. In the last year the sex with my husband has hit rock bottom. No more spontaneous sex, no "creativity" with the sex, and he only last about 15 good minutes. We have talked about the problem and his answer is I should be more patient with him. Well my patience has about ran out. I even suggested he go see a doctor to make sure nothing medical is going on. His ego has not allowed him to make the appointment. I do have toys that I use to please myself but I didn't marry a toy... I want my husband. I don't want our lack of sex to end our marriage, but I am not sure if I can continue in a marriage when I am not pleased sexually.

Please help!!
Sexually Unsatisfied



* If you would like to submit a letter to the Gemstones for advice. Email them with the subject "Dear Gemstones". *

Unravelling The Year Ahead Workbook

I came across an amazing workbook earlier this year that a woman created to say goodbye the 2011 and prepare for 2012. I will admit I did not fully use it, but wish I had put more effort into using it.

Yesterday I noticed she, Susannah Conway, posted her 2013 version. I decided to share it with you all. I hope you all find it helpful! This years workbook includes a monthly planner.

Are You A Powerful Woman?

"If we want to see positive change in the world then we need to connect to goodness." 

"...a personal role model for positive change."