Using My Faith

I have been leaning on my faith in God and working on not putting limits on my dreams for the last couple months. I read something a few months ago that said to dream big and let God lead you to fulfilling them. I noticed that I desired big things but "downsized" my desires because I was worried I would not be able to get them. I decided to no longer limit them and to tell God what I truly want.

I have been focusing on my goals and working on accomplishing them. Praying for God's guidance in fulfilling them and patience on accepting his timing.  When I feel overwhelmed, tired, frustrated, worried or sad I try to pray. Focus on leaning on God and keeping my faith strong. Which is hard at times because I tend to worry. I keep reminding myself "Do not pray if you're going to worry!"

Another thing I remind myself of is "Faith without works is dead!" I have been trying to make sure I put work behind my faith. Recently I was blessed with 2 of my goals. I was so grateful and overwhelmed with happiness, appreciation, and pure joy. These two goals are steps in accomplishing bigger goals I have. I feel like God was saying "I got you!" "I know your needs and wants. I will provide you if you keep up the good work!"

Are you putting your faith and trust in the Lord? Some people seem to trust God with their eternal salvation, but they have trouble trusting Him for their every-day life. Take comfort from these words of scripture. You can trust God with your needs today.

I'm Angry....

...nobody better get in my way.

I'm 30 and trying to live saved.
I'm 30 and trying to start a family.
I'm 30 and trying to find a career I can be proud of having
I'm 30 and not where I thought I would be....

Together, all those things are making me an angry person.

I love God, I really do but it seems like I am the only one in my age group that doesn't want to live for the things of this world. This makes for some very lonely days and nights and situations where I find myself backsliding badly. I have my husband but what about girlfriend time. I don't need to curse to have a conversations, I don't want to attend secular concerts and events, and I like to do things that uplift people. Good clean fun.

When I was younger the only things I really wanted in life was to be a wife and mom. I'm a wife but due to infertility issues outside of my control my blessing of being a mother is delayed (I'm praying that it's not denied). It seems that everyday someone new in my life is pregnant - talk about a slap in the face. I try to be truly happy for them but I'm angry - angry at myself. Then listening to parents complain about their children drives me insane - people do not appreciate what they have until it is taken from them. I have to bite my tongue and walk away from those conversations.

For 6+ years I have been stuck in this glass ceiling job. There is nowhere to go and the worst part is that I don't even want to be in this field. I took the job out of desperation and fear of not being able to pay my bills. Now I feel stuck. I am trying to get back into the field in which I went to school for but in this economy jobs are hard to obtain. I thought about doing my own thing but I am clueless about what I can do well enough to get paid for doing. I feel lost.

All of this contributes to me not being where I thought I would be in life at age 30. That alone is enough to make me want to punch a wall. Still, I try to focus on my blessings that the things that are going well in my life. It's hard but it is something that I must do in order to maintain my sanity. At the end of the day I still find myself angry. Things need to change soon - I must get to work. Please pray for me.