Dear Gemstones,
Hey! So I'm in 24 yrs old two guys are fighting over me (I know.... awesome but yet terrible, lol) One of them, I have known for a long time. We grew up together and we talk all the time. The other I really don't know very well and recently just met him thru mutual friends. Guy #1 and I get along great but Gyu #2 and I really clicked immediately. Now that I am for sure that both guys are interested in me, I am not sure what to do. Should I date one and dismiss the other and if so, which one? Should I date both – but at what cost as far as issues are concerned?
The main problem is that they both know that the other has feelings for me. Our town is small so people end up in the same places often. When these guys see each other out and about, it usually doesn’t end well. It hasn’t gotten physical but there has been a constant exchange of words.
Please Help!
Desired and secretly loving it!
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Disclaimer:
30s & Life Blog respects your privacy and take protecting it seriously. Emails received requesting advice will be shared on the blog but WILL NOT list your email address and any identifying information in the email body will be blocked/omitted for your protection. We ask that if names are included, you change the names to protect parties involved. No email will be forward outside of the 30s & Life Blog email account.
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Having men "fight" over your may seem flattering and desirable, but their behavior is childish and quite unhealthy. They are grown men, not two boys in the playground sandbox quarreling over who should get to play with the pail and shovel. You are not property. You're not even in a relationship with either of them, so why are they fighting? Are you stringing one or both of them along to keep the feud going? If so, that's not healthy, mature behavior on your part, either.
ReplyDeleteI can't really advise you on which one to dismiss. You have to decide what you want to do. Which one do you like and actually want to date? Since it's a small town and they know each other, dating both of them is probably not a good look. Letting both of them go and moving on to a totally new person outside of the circle is probably the best option — unless your town is so small you can't avoid dating someone who knows all the same people you do. Either way, please don't let this issue escalate to physical violence, no matter how "desired" it may make you feel.
My normal advice, date both until you're sure who you really want to be with, does not apply in this situation since you're in a small town. I would suggest deciding on one of these fellas as soon as possible. You might have to go retro and do a pro and con list to decide. Or go with your gut feeling.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is you can not predict the future or what being in a relationship with wither of them will be like.
Good luck!
If you are not in committed relationship. Date both. Dating doesn't mean sleep with them and give them both 100% of your time. Give them both a chance and get to know them. Since they know each other, I would make it clear that I was not being exclusive and you just wanted to get to know them better to see if anything would come from dating. In situations where the guys don't know each other - I wouldn't say a word. With this particular situation, it would be best to be honest since you are in a small town.
ReplyDelete