30 Things Every BLACK Woman Should Have and Know By 30

Since the publication of "30 Things Every Woman Should Have and Should Know by the Time She is 30" by the esteemed editors of Glamour, opinions, declarations, and even counter lists have emerged addressing this guide book. I haven't personally read it though. (I'm already in my 30s and don't want or need the headache of understanding why I haven't accomplished [whether by choice or circumstance] something yet and why that something would make me feel complete/accomplished.lol No, but really, I just haven't taken the time to read it yet.) The list itself has existed for years and is enough to convince many women (even stubborn me) to reevaluate their lives and/or affirm that they are indeed living their lives fully.

Interesting enough, Essence released it's own list of "30 Things" (truth or a little friendly magazine rivalry...hmm?)...for the Black woman. Now, I must say, as a Black woman who didn't grow up with access to certain information and opportunities, I never considered that Glamour's list may not totally apply to me...until I read the below list from Essence. Now, although Essence is reputable and geared towards people who look like me, I won't make the common mistake of agreeing with everything stated simply because they're "black" (just like I didn't agree with all of the items in Glamour's list simply because I'm a woman).

(Okay, seriously...this is not a battle of the lists...lol)

1. A song that immediately lifts her spirits or takes her back to a special, stress-free time, no matter where she is.

I think ALL women need this. As a matter of fact, I have a genre of music that I listen to when I need my spirits lifted. (Don't ask which one. This is not a post for y'all to laugh at my expense.)

2. A polite, diplomatic way of putting someone in check and a taste of sister girl attitude when diplomacy just won’t cut it.

I underlined the key words of this "must". By the time a Black woman is 30, she needs to be able to NOT be distasteful and physically combative just to get her point across. 

3. A favorite moisturizer, a favorite hair product and a favorite recipe in case she has to cook something impressive (or a favorite bakery or restaurant to pick it up from).

Okay, can we add "the ABILITY to cook" here? Not liking to cook is one thing, but not to be able to do it is embarrassing. Cooking lessons, better yet...a cookbook, aren't expensive.

4. A tool set, a car jack and a refusal to be anybody’s damsel in distress

Amen! :: finger snaps in a circle ::

5. The willingness and resolve to let it go, whatever “it” is

6. Spiritual grounding and a prayer and meditation war closet to sneak off to when life hands her chaos

7. A signature dance and a motivational saying

For nos. 5 - 7, I must agree. These are things that don't cost one cent but are worth more than gold.

8. A hot pick-up line—you know, in case she ever needs or wants to use it

Eh...I wouldn't know about this since I'm an old married hag. But even if I wasn't, :: shrugs :: I don't get why I would still need this by 30. Maybe it was just a number filler.

9. Dreams and the dogged desire to protect them, even from the people closest to her

Sadly, I find this to be true. One would be amazed at who that first person would be to kill that dream as soon as you share it.

10. A greater appreciation for her mother. Not necessarily a greater understanding, but at least a greater appreciation

The truth in all of it's glory! I may often refer to my mother as a whack job, I appreciate her more now than I ever have. Because of her...because of what I learned from her (either directly or indirectly), I am the woman I am today.

11. The ability to small talk in any social circle and a two-step to do at office parties and conservative social events

Yeah, if you can't do this by 30, just go ahead and rescue a few cats, purchase a kerosene heater from a flea market, and confine yourself to a rocking chair. Congratulations—you are officially an old hermit. 

12. An appreciation for Black men, even if she never wants to date, marry or sleep with one

13. An awareness that racism still exists but it’s no excuse for settling

14. An awareness that there’s no excuse for settling. Period

Two thumbs up and a back bend for nos. 12 - 14.

15. A body shaper, a good push-up bra and a sense of humor

Must haves REGARDLESS of ethnicity. As a woman, these things WILL transform your image for the better.

16. Empathy for every Black woman's experience, even if her walk hasn't looked remotely similar

I struggle with this one. Sorry. I just can't "empathize" with anything that I have never been through and can't relate.

17. Confidence in knowing that having a man and children are part of the African-American dream, but they don’t have to be part of her African-American dream

Very true. 

18. A passport, because she should never be caught unprepared should an opportunity to travel arise

Right. Purchasing one will NOT break you. Hmph...some Black women spend more on their purses and shoes.

19. The humility to apologize without prompting, prodding or any lingering aftereffects

THANK YOU!

20. A financial plan, even if she only has $20 to her name

I couldn't agree with this more. As a matter of fact, let's add good credit to this. No excuses. By the age of 30, you should know better. I understand that things happen, but by 30, you should at least KNOW about good credit, how to obtain it, and strive for it.

21. One thing that reminds her of being a little girl and invites her to feel playful, even if her childhood wasn’t the greatest

I guess. I don't have this, but I didn't have a terrible childhood either.

22. At least one cause or issue she feels passionate enough to debate (or argue) about

Right, because if you're not that passionate about anything by the time you're 30, you clearly haven't lived yet.

23. A good pair of black heels, a button-down white shirt and a get ‘em girl dress that makes her look like a brickhouse and feel like Beyoncé

I don't know about feeling like Beyoncé (:: waits for tomatoes to be thrown as I'm not a die-hard fan :: ), but a good pair of black heels, a button-down white shirt, and a get 'em girl dress WILL make you feel like you are DA SHIT.

24. A list of things that she wants in a house, a career and a spouse and a list of things she absolutely can’t compromise on

Definitely.

25. Peace about being different and respect for what makes her that way

26. An appreciation for diversity, both in and outside of the diaspora

27. At least three things she can love and dote on herself about that have nothing to do with what she sees in the mirror

28. An understanding that not everyone is going to like her, but that everyone has got to respect her

29. The personal freedom to make choices without justifying them to her parents, her siblings or anybody else for that matter

Nos. 25 - 29 are things I will never disagree on. Open your eyes my fellow Black women; receive, accept, and embrace them.

30. A few secrets to hold on to and drop when she gets old

Never thought about this, but I think I owe it to myself to honor No. 30. Those who are close to me, be scared. Be vewy, vewy scared. :: evil laugh ::