Relationships

Relationships come in many forms. Family, friends, romantic, professional, and so on. Over my 30 years I have learned that I have different relationships and connections with each person in my life. From my child to my mom to my best friend to my sibling. I have also learned that most relationships change over time. Some times the changing of a person involved in a relationship cause it to change or even become strained. I noticed in the last few years I fight to maintain relationships with people. I guess this is not a problem but there is a limit to how much fight one should put in. I can look back on situations where I fought far too hard for someone to stay in my life. I had to realize a few things. One is it takes two people to have a relationship and it takes both parties being willing to work at it to make it work. Second I realized that I can't be the only one fighting or wanting to fix the issues. Third is how it is ok to let someone leave my life or remove them from it.

This is easier said than done when the person is someone you are close to or have a long history with. Most recently I put space between me and a friend whose relationship became strained. They began communicating less and their life took a new turn that I did not fully agree with. After placing the space in the relationship I felt better but missed them. They were a good friend of mine and had been for almost a decade. We kept in contact but it was not on the level it use to be. Thanks to social networks it is easy to be in "contact" with someone without really contacting them. The few times we were around each other this friend continued to show me they changed and not for the better. It hurt me to see them in a dark place and allowing things in their life that was not good. I noticed a change in my moods when I would spend time with this friend. It was like their mess was bringing me down. Weighing my heart down and reducing my energy. I decided that more space was needed.

Over time things have improved. I feel they are getting their happiness back. I am slowly reducing the space I placed between us. I am very happy about this because I did not want them to leave my life. Having positive reciprocal relationships in my life are important to me. I can do bad by myself! I do not need anyone in my life who will consistently bring me down. I hope that this relationship continues to improve, but will have to accept if it does not and has to end.